Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The World is SAFE at Last!

Yay! Prop. 8 was upheld today! Yippee! That was a close one. The slippery slope has been salted. The children of California are finally safe from the evils that would surely have eventually become flora and fauna inter-marrying. I can't tell you how many times I've had to repell the advances of my chihuahuas, both male and female. So eager are they to be sinners they force themselves into my bed and prevent the natural, biblically sanctioned, reproductive processes between husband and wife by, dare I say it, "Cock Blocking" with their furry little bodies. If this isn't an affront to god's law I don't know what is.

It's bad enough that these creatures, and their ilk, reproduce out of wedlock. They should abstain from this sinful behavior and they are next on the agenda to prevent abhorrent sexual activity in all of it's unsavory permutations. I don't know if you're aware of this but most, in not all, living creatures don't even use the missionary sanctioned "Missionary Position" ( No-one knows about sexual prowess more than a missionary. Amen) Don't get me started on pistils and stamens! (see my previous pornographic post) Talk about a key party. Worse yet, it's being played with "Africanized" bees. (I'll bet those bees voted for Obama. grrr)

The rational, god fearing, voters have been heard and validated. All is right with the world.


Hannah said...

what nice prose you have.
damn those liberal-minded bees.

Martha Rich said...

Well said Frieda. Dang.

Dan said...

I was wondering why my Dog, Silvie, has been looking at me in that "special way". Little did I know she had marriage on her mind. THANK YOU Princess, for bringing this important issue to light. You are a godsend for us moral and descent citizens. I might also mention that the other day I saw two men holding hands! A feeling came over me... a feeling I was so ashamed of -- that maybe I too could marry a man. Only through strength of will did I overcome this desire. If I, as a life long hetero male, had trouble fighting these feelings, what hope do our children have (with their tiny mushy brains and all)?

Joe Rocco said...

I think my cat just seduced my boyfriend. Crap!